Happy Everything

 

 

A very merry holiday to all. Thanks for reading, and look for more Kraftomatic in the new year.

Christmas lights knitting pattern:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37233581

Scarflette of fear

Something about this presentation seems a bit off.


Chunky Scarflette in Charcoal:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18833937

Are we having fun yet?

Says the seller: "Generic look allows infant to play alongside parents in costume without looking out of place."

Because every child deserves his own personal dark age.


Medieval Baby Tunic:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29794188

Prescription for cuteness

Says the seller: "So cute it hurts."

I'm as unclear about the irony level as you are.

Rx Stuffie, Pill Pin, and Kawaii Needle:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/BunnyMadden

I report, you decide

I'm not sure what the white version is. Poo in winter?

Says the seller:  "You are getting the pattern to make exactly what you see - dog poo."

Fake Dog Poo Knitting Pattern:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37087014

Soopa crafts

For those of you who read the piece in the New York Times about crafters on Etsy, including Yokoo Gibran (pictured here in her Soopascarf, available on Etsy), here are links to two previous Kraftomatic posts featuring her funny, appealing work. 

http://kraftomatic.blogspot.com/2009/03/sad-models.html
 
http://kraftomatic.blogspot.com/2009/08/killing-me-softly.html

(And if you haven't seen the article, here's a link.)
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/17/fashion/17etsy.html?scp=1&sq=yokoo&st=cse

Thanks for visiting. I hope you'll stay a while!

Take the Money and Rub

Here's a hand soap every self-respecting Woody Allen fan will want in their bathroom. (Remember the failed prison attempt in Take the Money and Run? No? Let's move on.)

The point is:  Without laughter, this soap scares me.

Gun Soap:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36012902

Something to Talk About

Here's something else I'm not comfortable with.

Says the seller: This is also available in Infant Creepers. I bet it is.


I Have a Secret t-shirt:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35237238

Back me up here

This is a little creepy, right?

Panda Ski Mask:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36946804&ref=cat2_gallery_14

Puzzling

Here's something for the young Mormon your list.

Two Jesuses make for a surprisingly tricky puzzle.

As for President Monson, I had to Google him. You can too.

Baptism, First Vision, and President Monson magnetic puzzles:
http://www.etsy.com/search_results_shop.php?search_type=user_shop_ttt_id_6200509&search_query=magnetic+puzzle

Red Flag

Keep your distance from this lady.

Your Sports Team Rhinestone/Swarovski Shirt:
http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=23044788

Baby, it's Nose Warmer season outside...

A cozy reminder that someone on your list could probably use one of these. Or not. Probably not. But still.

Crocheted Nose Warmer:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35463955

What? You want another steering-wheel cozy?

Then I have some good news.

Tie Silk Steering Wheel Cover:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29025370

Why Didn't He Call?

'Things were going so well until he came back to my place for that nightcap....'

Cupid Wall Decal:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29809689

Good clean fun

What part of 'Popcorn Chicken Soap' don't you understand?

Says the seller:  "Ready to pop into the tub!"

OK, now I have some questions.



Popcorn Chicken Soap:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35053161

Hmm

Here's a unique product specially made for your chapped lips AND your chaps.


Biker Paste Skin Moisturizer and Leather Conditioner:
http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=22836352

A cozy package

Says the seller:  "the perfect size to fit all kinds of gadgets."

As it were.


Tighty Whitey Blackberry Curve Case:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30083485

Different, cont'd.

Here's another gift I'd rather not receive.

Says the seller: 

"Dogs will eat just about anything, thus the inspiration for DOG BUTT FLOSS."

Oh, now I get it.

Dog Butt Floss Dispenser:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36337888

Celebrating on the Inside

Here's an intimate way to get into the holiday spirit. Or, a festive way to line your underwear. Or just a bad idea.

I report, you decide.

Peanuts Christmas Choir Panty Liner:

http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=22617592

More holiday humiliation

Please tell me he doesn't have to keep this on for eight days.


Dreidel Pet Hat:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35573987

(In)human hands

 

Says the creator of these unique "gloves or mittens":  "You get an interesting mix of the warmth of mittens, and the dexterity gloves."

Oh, now I see the appeal.



Alien Three-Fingered Gloves or Mittens
and
T-Rex Gloves or Mittens with Claws:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SaintReagansHollow

Something to wear to Carrie Fisher's one-woman show

But you'll have to knit it first.

On another note, is anyone else craving a cinnamon bun?


Princess Leia Wig Pattern:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35356117

Apropos of nothing

 If you're expecting an explanation for this print, you are going to be disappointed. As a curator of questionable crafts, I reserve the right to be randomly amused every once in a short while. Like now.

 

The Glider 5x7 print:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34618190

Points for honesty

If you're going to turn your little one into a billboard, signs of intelligent life are appreciated.

I'm Told I Like Football baby shirt:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32319427

Ouch

Embarrassing, manhood-threatening, and guaranteed to be your son's least favorite gift this season.

Personalized Dreidel Boxers:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35320269

Gettin' Cozy, cont'd.

Friends, let's face it. With the new chill in the air, just about every inanimate object could use a little warming up.


Flash drive cozy:  http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34712567

Hand sanitizer cozy:  http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29364020

Another hand sanitizer cozy: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31733533

Egg cozy pattern:  http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=22383930

Now It's a Party

Says the seller about these soaps:  "The crackers smell EXACTLY like a saltine cracker, and the cheese is slightly scented with the saltine scent as well."

Fans of the cheddar smell are out of luck.

Cheese 'n' Crackers Vegan Soap Set:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35101771

Why Didn't He Call?, cont'd.

Here's a dating tip. Maybe don't wear your Medication Earrings on the first date. Just a thought.

Says the seller:  "A fun gift for medical personnel or someone with a quirky sense of humor."  I would add: Who is not looking to attract or retain any new friends.

Capsule Earrings:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34994057

Fast food (Indoctri)nation

Could this cheeseburger baby rattle be any more awesome?

Hang on. The seller says:  "Also great for cats!"

Now it's perfect.


Cheeseburger Rattle:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34214215

Giving Thanks, cont'd.

What can be said? I'm thankful I'm not one of these dogs.

Turkey Day Pet Hat:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30869745

Turkey Drumstick Rattle. Yes!

Get crochetin'!


Turkey Drumstick Rattle Pattern:
http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=21787094

Confusing, cont'd.

If you're a little tired of all those hand soaps shaped like food items, here's a refreshing change of pace.

Says the seller:  "This little Titanic is lightly scented with the fresh fragrance of summer rain...It is a calming and very relaxing scent."

Alright then.

Titanic Goat's Milk Soap Set:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34873205

Story of my day

Yes, kraftomatic is under the weather (again).

The seller of this felted toast says:  "I can cut it in half if you prefer."

In unrelated news, I miss my mom.


Felt Toast:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34679034

Bad names, cont'd.

Here's another odd name choice -- both for a child and for a monogrammed sheet set.

Personalized Kids' Blanket Set:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33033667

Overcozied, cont'd.

Are we having fun yet?


Wine Cozies:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34633337

Away in a Meerkat Manger

Meery Christmas.

Christmas Celebrity Meerkats:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/niftyknits