Why Didn't He Call?, cont'd.

'Our date was going so well until I turned that lamp on...'

Vinyl Wall Decal:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33110964

From the Dept. of Un-Fun Toys

A medley of root vegetables, handmade with love.

Thanks, vegan relative!




Bunch of Radishes:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24050491

Sack of Fleece Potatoes:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27568159

Rudy the Turnip:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29720587

Baby name as destiny, cont'd.

Regular Kraftomatic readers know I'm a bit obsessed with unfortunate baby names. Here's a little gal who's sure to grow up to rhyme with witch. 

Do NOT forget to change Carma's diaper.


Monogrammed Bloomers Diaper Cover:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32601753

Have a cozy Halloween

Evil Skull Can Cozy:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30353518

The Paradox of Choice, cont'd.

Whenever you see the phrase Toilet-Paper Cover or Hat, you know something interesting is happening.

Says the seller:

"As a toilet roll cover it holds 2 rolls stacked 1 on top of another.

As a hat it fits head size 22" - 23".

The choice is yours how you use it."


Hand Knitted Toilet Roll Cover or Hat:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27372234

Trick or Treat, Guinea Pig Style

I'm not liking this one bit.

About the reindeer costume, the seller advises:  "The costume looks a bit small, but this is only because this particular cavy is pregnant, the belly strap actually goes just behind her front legs."

I think I've heard enough.


Guinea Pig Costumes -- Princess, Reindeer, Camouflage (?):
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=8114415

From the Dept. of Things I Wish I Hadn't Seen

No, he's not a cautionary teaching tool for prenatal health classes.

He is 14 inches of disproportionately crocheted acrylic yarn you'll want to adopt and shower with love.

Says the seller:  "Adam's head leans slightly towards his right shoulder and that makes him look more expressive."

Also:  "Hug him!"

I feel sad now.

Also, he's $138. And he should really never take his hair off.

Adam - Crochet Baby Boy:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33118498&ref=cat2_gallery_4

Handmade finger food

Practice foods for social phobics? 

Don't eat the grapes - they're a garnish.

Felt pretend brie wheel and party platter:

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6099177

Go with the flow

If you're into handcrafted blood cells, here's something.

Choose oxygenated (bright red) or deoxygenated (dark red).

Is anyone still with me?

Says the seller:  "Great gift for that biologist or hematologist in your life."

Crocheted Oxygenated and Deoxygenated Blood Cells:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23449803#

In the news!

The good folks at LA Weekly have blogged about Kraftomatic. Check it out!

http://blogs.laweekly.com/style_council/art/craft-gone-bad-kraftomatic-boo/

Craftohydrates: A Dieter's Lament

More lovingly rendered facsimiles of my problem foods. Thanks, crafters.


Crocheted pancakes and pizza
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=87376

Felt penne and ice cream sandwiches:
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5128266

Hmm

It's hard to imagine ordering the pattern for this crochet project and then taking the time to create it, knowing it's going to come out as a unicorn lip-balm cozy. No disrespect.

Unicorn lip balm cozy pattern:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33066219

Damn the Torpedo

I feel a little off kilter now.

Fall Sweater in Sagebrush:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32289095

Questionable Soaps, cont'd.

Feeling clean yet?

Dog Chew Top Soap for People:

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5692613

Sad Figurines: Vinnie's Story

As regular Krafto readers know, I'm a sucker for a sad figurine. And a sad model. And really anyone who looks sadder than I am. It's not flattering but it's true. Speaking of unflattering, I think this isn't Vinnie's best angle.

As a side note, I have no idea what Fox's Biscuits are. I could google them. But the look on Vinnie's face says 'why bother.'

VINNIE THE PANDA INSPIRED BY FOX'S BISCUITS MADE FROM FIMO POLYMER CLAY: www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32706655

Meet the Nose Cozy

Friends, this is big. In my humble yet obsessive opinion, this is the best thing to happen to the cozy since the advent of the asthma-inhaler sweater.

Says the seller: "Tired of a cold nose? Me too! So I crocheted a Nose Warmer."

I particularly like the camo-patterned one. So subtle you hardly see it.





Nose Warmer:
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6149070

Crafting's tiniest victims

Nobody suffers more from Obsessive Crafting Disorder than nearby newborns. Here's a nice example of what I like to call a Neck Trainer.

Oversized Pink Rose Clip with Pink Crocheted Beanie Hat:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24615061

The Name Game, cont'd.

Regular readers know that I can't seem to get enough of unusual baby names. Here's a nice name for a Jersey girl. Or maybe not.

Two spellings, one fine city.

Personalized Name Tatouage (?):

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32416685

Custom Baby Bloomers:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31398407

Oh Canada, cont'd.

I'm a bit confused by this "mixed-media assemblage" made of soapstone, sparkled pom-poms and fun fur.

Says the seller: "It makes an excellent mental refuge."

After forking over $295 I might need a bit of mental refuge.

Am I dancing around the question of what this is? You betcha.


Sno Globe:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16134194

The balm

Who knew a lip-balm cozy could make you feel so jaunty and carefree?

Mercerized Cotton Lip Balm Cozy:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25669819

The Cozy Co-Worker

A cozy for every office supply, and every office supply in its cozy.

The binder-clip cover is really something, no?


Office Diva Cozy Set:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=28659186

Walter the Gin Poodle: A Cautionary Tale

This cozy is specially designed to help you hide your alcohol habit beneath a smokescreen of bad taste.

I sincerely hope you won't ever need his services, but if you do, go with the dark one. It'll hold up better.

Notes the seller: This will fit over your favorite bottle of "fun-water," including wine. Isn't that special?


Walter the Gin Poodle Bottle Cozy:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21050366

On the bubble

Social phobics, proceed with caution. Despite its good intentions, this pillow might not help you attract the caliber of friends you're yearning for.

Says the seller: "They're durable and fully washable, and have a handle on the back for easy posing when the occasion arises."

Say It Cushion:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32809775

Hmm

Sure, it's getting cold out there. But has it come to this?









Cream Foks:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32815133

The mercury's dropping...

and your brewskis are feeling the chill.










Crocheted beer cozies:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32604760

Needlefelted Nuthatches R Us

You know what? I love these little woolen creatures. And not only because I've been called a nuthatch a time or two. But that might be a factor. On the margins.






Rock Wren, Mr. Ruby Throated Hummingbird, This Little Piggy, and Mr. White Breasted Nuthatch:
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=8140829

Crocheted munchies

For when you're finished with that cozied bong.

Wait, what?

Read on.







Crocheted Chocolate Chip Cookies:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32335736

Bong cozy?

It's all good.


Custom Water Pipe Cozy:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23666734

Meet Little Zimby

Not another Philip Zimbardo likeness rendered in yarn.

Because whenever I think of the Stanford Prison Study, I think of crochet.





Crocheted Philip Zimbardo
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24919649